Build Date: Fri May 2 05:50:52 2025 UTC
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman
Set Gag Reflex On Stun
1999-03-15 21:21:00
During the heyday of the Rollins-Shipley crisis, gentleman Web diarist Wil Shipley made much about his "substitute girlfriend," known only by her first name, "Karawynn" (and later just by her initial "K"). When Shipley shut down his site for personal reasons, citing a fear of hurting "innocent people", it was widely assumed by veteran Rollins-Shipley watchers that Karawynn was one person who Shipley was trying to protect. Well, Pigdog Journal, ever in pursuit of TOTAL COVERAGE, combed the Web in search of this elusive Shipley companion. Our research into her Web journal reveals the shocking truth: Karawynn DESERVES to be hurt.
Bleeeeechk! I dunno where to start - anyone who introduce their site as being "bits and pieces of me and mine" -- no, anyone who uses "mine" like that, should just be shot. No torture, no punishment, just a clean shot to the back of the head. It's not worth spending any more time on them than that.
Just to make sure you aren't drawn to her site outta some voyeuristic curiosity here is a list of all the juicy personal tid-bits:
* She had a tough childhood
* She cries when she is angry
* She loves British and Irish accents (I'm sure the movie industry loves her too)
* She lost her virginity when she was 20
* She doesn't drive, but she thinks the new Beetles are way cool
* She drinks, but hates smoking
* She has written 2 songs
* She's gotten over not being able to sleep naked, but she frequently still sleeps in a T-shirt
* She's polyamorous and hangs out on the Well
* She used to write under the name Melpomene (the muse of tragedy)
* and there's a game you can play to see nude photo's of her.
As if all the Web journals full of whining, self-centered shlock weren't bad enough, "Karawynn" (ugh, I wonder how many pages of doodle-filled binder paper it took to come up with that!) has a journal mailing list. You don't even have to go to the swill, it'll just show up in your mailbox every day! There's even an IRC channel where you can discuss Karawynn 24 hours a DAY!
Hopefully, this will be enough to convince all but the biggest masochists to skip this site, but if you must:
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
